Genital Herpes

Vaginal Herpes

I was diagnosed with vaginal herpes when I was 17.

I won’t bother to tell you how I contacted genital herpes, except to say that I contracted it the old fashioned way.   Why?  Because it doesn’t really matter how or why we managed to find ourselves with HSV2.   I find that people with herpes spend too much time with regret, finding fault, and dwelling on the circumstances of contracting herpes.   The point is that it is here and it’s not going away any time soon.  There is no cure for herpes.

So let’s get away from the past and figure out a way to to help support each other and figure out some herpes tools that we can use to manage our H.

Back to me…

After the Doctor confirmed that I had HSV2, I remember feeling quite alone and ashamed.   I was the least sexually active and the first and only to contract vaginal herpes.

I was terrified about telling future partners (see my thoughts here on dating with herpes), but it all honestly it only took a few months for me to meet someone and have to have the inevitable “conversation”.  I was utterly and completely relieved when it well and I was not in any way rejected.  I stayed with that partner for over four years and had this time to research and become more familiar with the virus without having to share more information that I was comfortable with anyone else.  I did tell a few of my girlfriends (I think they all know now), and it took a few more years, but I finally told my parents.   Everyone took it in their own way.   People were sad for me but I was really happy with the fact that they were sad because they cared about me and loved me.  I don’t remember any overt judgment or rejection.

I will say that I absolutely struggled with constant herpes outbreaks for the first year and this was very difficult for me.  It was a constant reminder that I had contracted this virus and that I was capable of spreading herpes. I took all the necessary steps to completely avoid herpes transmission (always used condoms, completely avoided sexual activity when feeling an active herpes outbreak coming on or healing), and I am happy to say that I have never, not once, in over 20 years passed HSV2 to another person.   I am very proud of this and you should be too.

I eventually took a one year treatment of Famvir (they did not have Valtrex back in the olden days!), and it really worked for me.  I had no outbreaks for the entire year and my herpes symptoms were greatly decreased after the year was over.   There is talk that without the anti-viral medication you will have much worse and more frequent outbreaks, but I experienced the opposite.  Whether it was the actual medication or my body and mind just got used to (and accepted that outbreaks did not have to affect me so badly) I am not sure.  The mind/body connection is very real and I am a firm believer that shame will cause more outbreaks than anything else.  Just my opinion…

I hope that my herpes story has helped you.  I am happy to share it and to report that I continue to live happily and successfully with this virus.

Best,

Nanci