Constant Herpes Outbreaks: How To Cope
First, you are NOT alone with your constant herpes outbreaks.
There are a few things that you can do NOW to help curb your any constant herpes outbreaks.. I am a firm believer that shame and worry brings on the outbreaks. If you feel that every time you have sex, you experience an outbreak, you are always going to be worried about this and you may be making it happen on some level. I am NOT saying that this is your fault but the whole body/mind connection is very strong and and the Universe tends to give us what we focus on the most. (ever notice how angry people always find something to be angry about?!).
That being said I know it is NOT easy to just “stop worrying”.
Living With Herpes
All right, how to deal with living with herpes? You can approach this from two angles. First the emotional. You need to try and work to accept your genital herpes. Unfortunately it is not going anywhere and it is not a part of who you are. This isn’t so bad. Accepting is the first step. We try so hard to fight it and wish it away and hate it and it really just makes it worse. Try saying to yourself over and over again, “I have herpes and that’s OK”. Eventually you will start to believe it and this alone can calm the virus down. At some point you can even start to say to yourself, “Thank you herpes for what you are teaching me about myself”. This involves LOVING yourself and all of you and who you are. This is not some freaky hippie crap. You ARE lovable exactly the way you are. If you hate your body for being overweight or for having a smoking addiction (these, ahem, might be some things I am struggling with) it will be almost impossible to lose weight or quit smoking. Acceptance is the key to change.
OK! While you are doing all that it is important that you stop the herpes outbreaks. It can be very difficult to keep up with the above affirmations (positive statements to yourself about yourself) while the outbreaks keep happening. At some point you get discourage and start to think, “what’s the point?!”.
I really love all the natural treatments for herpes. Love Vitamin C and zinc. Love oil of oregano and beta glucan (from yeast). LOVE lysine for herpes. This has all worked for me in the past and is working for me now. You don’t have to try them all at the same time. Vitamin C and zinc are always good because they boost your immune system and keep you healthy all year round from herpes AND colds/flu. Sometimes vaginal herpes keeps coming back because we have a slight deficiency in our body of a certain vitamin or mineral. This is normal because our food supply is so bad now (technology isn’t always good…) but it can be hard to identify WHAT we are missing. Make an effort to eat as much good stuff as you can. Lean meats (chicken, turkey) and lots of fruits and vegetable. Green salad and spinach is so healthy! Also, try taking a QUALITY vitamin/mineral supplement each day. Vitamin B complex is also great for calming the nerves and the mind.
This is what I would do if I were you: Start making small changes to your diet (it is impossible to change overnight) and start with something called ColdImmune Pro from SISU (I am sure you can find this online). This supplement contains beta glucan (from yeast) as well as 500mg of AWESOME Vitamin C. I am assuming you live in the States (I am in Canada) and both our countries have really crappy supplements. Garbage is sold at the local drugstores. Spend a few extra dollars on a quality company. SISU is excellent and I am sure it is available in all of North America. Second, start with 3000mg of lysine. That is 1000mg 3X a day. This shouldn’t cost you more that $20 a month.
Do this for a month and I think you will see a difference (don’t forget your affirmations!)
If this doesn’t work, I think you should consider a one year treatment of Valtrex. I have done this twice in 20 years. Valtrex can be hard on the liver so you don’t want to take it forever but I have found that it really does work and I cannot tell you how relieving it is after constant outbreaks to have a complete ONE YEAR holiday! I have also found that after the year is up, the outbreaks are far and few between. Whether this is because of the outbreaks or because I have been so relaxed about not having outbreaks that my mind is not so freaking out about that the herpes calms down, who knows.
Big fat stress is evil for herpes (so is chocolate, popcorn, and corn – including corn chips!) so try to avoid these foods. If you have a stressful job or a stressful home life (even a stressful relationship with your mother!) you need to find a way to slowly change this. You can’t just accept that your life is full of stress. It took a long time but I realized at some point that my life in one city was just too stressful (job, family) so I MOVED! Yes, all by myself. I was quite stressed in the new city with not knowing anyone and looking for work but I didn’t have any outbreaks. I am not saying you should do anything this drastic but just that there is always a way out of a difficult situation. You NEED to put yourself first sometimes. Even if it is just temporarily so you can get some space and some perspective.
Hang in there!
Living With Herpes Update: June 2, 2010:
I just read this on the Internet:
Did you know if you are living with herpes you need to always maintain cleanliness and proper bodily and genital hygiene? That means cleaning the genital area twice or three times a day with hygiene wash.
..and I just wanted to say that this is such a crock of shit. It is so sad that somehow people with herpes are bombarded with the idea that somehow they are dirty or damaged goods and that we need to work harder to keep ourselves clean. Well I have a message right here and right now for people that post like this: We are not dirty. We are not damaged goods. In fact, we are good clean people who just happen (like 40% of the population) to carry the herpes virus. So leave us alone and go wash yourself!
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Hi Nanci! Isn’t it kind of ironic that living with genital herpes can turn out to be a “good” thing? I too have had it for nearly 20 years and I can honestly say that it has had many effects on my life. In the beginning, I just refused to accpet it and was in denial. Later I had to learned to be more responsible and hence the changes began.
It’s amazing that simple shift in thinking can have such a positive outcome. Change your mind. Change your life. Simple and Powerful.
Let me know if I can be of any help to you.
Ed
Thanks for sharing your knowledge with us. I will slowly implement the change and hope for the best…
I’m 22 and haven’t been confirmed as positive…yet. But I’ll know for sure by next week. Since I started and then finished college I’ve had a really hard time dealing with stress and had my first “outbreak” (can’t say officially yet) about a month ago. It was excruciating/debilitating and emotionally devastating. I also have a boyfriend that I slept with once before he moved several states away and got to have that “I might have herpes” conversation over the phone…so fun. The PA I saw at first was a real jerk when I asked him how I should approach this topic with my boyfriend by saying he didn’t know, he’s never had to “deal with something like that before”. He also treated me without testing me, so I have sought out a second opinion. Whether I have it or not this made me feel better, because despite my rational, educated mind…I still felt like dirty, damaged goods and kind of a ho, to be so crass. So thanks for sharing your experience and advice. I feel better now.
Thank you so much for this post! I really needed it right now.
I am so tired of the outbreaks was on famir for a year but stress life in general and one outbreak after another got it allo the time and know I am stress always but can’t be on famir all the time will try the c and lysine who knows
I was diagnosed 4 years ago, I have constant outbreaks for over a year now, some are just an itch that develops into an OB but more recently I notice an extreme fatigue and even dizzy spells with a tingle in the OB area, then 1-3 days after the skin OB would appear. I also get the sores in two specific areas. Does anyone else experience any or all of these symptoms? I know stress is a factor, and unfortunately I have always had a panic/disorder that comes and goes through the years, I am 28 now. I feel like this may even be triggering OB’s?! I am not too sure, but I am currently taking valtrex. It has been almost 3 weeks since I started, missed a day and felt the tingling, dizziness spells! I am just worried this will keep getting worse :/ Good luck to everyone else.
Nanci, I’m currently not seeing anyone but I want to know everything there is to now about asymptomatic shedding. I think I am one of the lucky ones that don’t have outbreaks (or if there were, they are too mild for me to even notice — I hope that’s not the case as I’d hate to not know I’m having outbreaks). Anyway, at the moment I have the IMMUNE SUPPORT and LYSINE LIP CLEAR which I ordered from Dynamiclear. 1 tablet of IMMUNE SUPPORT is 1.5g of Andrographis paniculata, 700mg of Olive leaf and 500mg of Echincea root. LYSINE LIP CLEAR contains 500mg of lysine, 200mg of Vitamin C, 5mg of Zinc and 200mg of Citrus bioflavonoids. I will also try ColdImmune Pro from SISU if I can order it online. Do you think taking all of these would be as effective as Valtrex in terms of preventing asymptomatic shedding? That’s all I really care about as herpes only affects my life in the form of fear of passing it on to my partner. Or would you recommend I take all these supplements AND Valtrex AND practice safe sex (condoms)?
Also, I know you wrote another blog on herpes and oral sex. What are the risk of passing it on if you take Valtrex and all these supplements and your partner gives you oral sex (no dental dams)? Is HSV2 harder to pass on orally (from genital to mouth)? Assuming you take all the supplements and Valtrex.
I look forward to your answers, and thank god for your blog. You are truly helping sooooo many people accept and love themselves despite this “skin condition”. Thank you.
Hi Nanci, I was hoping you might be able to give some advice on a major problem I’ve been having. Im a 24 year old woman who contracted genital herpes from my ex boyfriend a few years ago… he cheated on me, and that’s how I contracted it…He claimed to have gone and gotten tested as I just had, with the understanding that I needed to know we were both for sure clean before we stopped using condoms. he was the second person in my life other than one other serious boyfriend with whom I did not use a condom. Emotionally it has been very difficult to deal with, one because of the way it happened (I feel so stupid and can’t stop feeling regret for trusting this guy and not continuing to use a condom), and two because I now have an amazing boyfriend who am in in love with, we have been together for almost 3 years and are very serious. Though he was very understanding and accepting when I told him I had herpes, every once in a while it causes a rift between us…. it seems like if we go through a rough patch he worries a lot more about getting herpes than usual and it makes our sex life very tense. over the last couple of months, I have gone from going over a year with no outbreaks, to an outbreak once maybe every 6 months, to having one every month. It has gotten to the point where there isnt one day in a month where I am not either on my period or having an outbreak…. as you can imagine, our sex life has become practically nothing, leading to us feeling more distant, and of course causing a lot of tension and fighting. I am emotionally a bit of a wreck from being sick constantly, and it is a lot for him to deal with as well. I am at my wit’s end and will take any advice you have on ways to prevent outbreaks or clear symptoms quicker. I was initially taking one valtrex a day to prevent outbreaks and my risk of passing herpes on to my boyfriend.. it worked great for about two years and then for the last few months I have been having outbreaks constantly! I went to my doctor and she switched me to famvir (twice a day) and gave me zovirax (cream). I have been using these for the last month and a bit and literally have been having a constant outbreak since before christmas to now…. I can’t live like this! my relationship and emotional health is suffering… please offer any help you can think of.
im 21 & i just have my first outbreak. well i havent been diagnost but i get bumps aroung my lips & i have 3 bumps in a circle above my lip it went away and now after 6 days its back it havent turned into a sore but it hurts & it look like i have swollen pours. . does anyone else have anything simalir help me .